Men's counselling in Surrey, BC · anger, stress & self-esteem
You carry everyone. Who's carrying you?
Counselling for men: anger, stress, addiction, confidence, self-esteem, sexual performance worries and that feeling of emptiness you can't quite name. Confidential, in English, Punjabi or Hindi.
- 1Pick a timeBook a free 30-minute call online through Jane.
- 2Talk it throughBy phone or video. Ask anything, with no obligation.
- 3Decide in your own timeNo pressure to book a session afterwards.
Direct billing to Pacific Blue Cross, Canada Life, Green Shield, TELUS Health and most other extended health plans (coverage varies, so check yours) · Registered Clinical Counsellor, RCC #24906 · EMDR trained (EMDRIA) · EFT trained (ICEEFT)
You'll be talking with Sartaj Sandhu, RCC. I offer EMDR and trauma-focused counselling in English, Punjabi and Hindi, in person in Fleetwood, Surrey, and online anywhere in BC. More about me →
Why men wait
You show up. You provide. You carry it. And nobody asks how you're doing.
Many men become exceptionally good at functioning. You go to work, solve the problems, look after everyone, and carry the responsibility without complaint. From the outside, that looks like strength.
But the moment a man shows he's not okay, the people around him often panic, or remind him that his job is to hold it together. So the stress has nowhere to go. It turns into anger, drinking, numbness or silence. It's not that men don't have feelings. It's that they learned early which ones were welcome.
Here you get real space: not a performance of being open, but actual safety. Carrying responsibility doesn't have to mean carrying everything alone.
What men bring
Whatever it is, you can bring it here.
Anger
A short fuse at home or work, saying things you regret, or anger that scares the people around you. Anger management
Stress & pressure
Work, money, providing for family, and the weight of everyone's expectations.
Drinking & habits
Alcohol, drugs, gambling or gaming that started as a way to switch off. Addiction counselling
Confidence & self-esteem
A harsh inner critic, feeling like you're not enough, or never measuring up.
Sexual performance
Erectile difficulties and performance worries linked to stress, anxiety or relationship strain.
Emptiness & loneliness
Feeling numb, disconnected or going through the motions, even when life looks fine from the outside.
Relationships
Distance with your partner, the same fights, or struggling to show what you feel. Couples counselling
The past
Trauma, a hard childhood or experiences you've never told anyone. Trauma therapy
Anger management
Anger is usually protecting something.
Underneath anger there's often hurt, fear, shame or exhaustion. We work on what sets it off, what your body does in the seconds before you react, and how to create space between the trigger and your response.
- Spot your early warning signs
- Calm your body fast when it's building
- Say what you need without blowing up or shutting down
- Repair after a conflict
Required to attend?
Court, probation or MCFD referral
If you've been asked to attend counselling for anger, the Restore Program is designed to meet court, probation and MCFD counselling requirements, with a Letter of Participation and Certificate of Completion. It doesn't replace a program your probation order names, such as BC Corrections' Relationship Violence Prevention program, but it can be used as added or earlier support.
How I work with men
Practical, direct, and at your pace.
No lying on a couch. We talk about what's actually going on and what you want to be different. My role is never to tell you who you should be. It's to help you become more intentional about who you want to be.
Tools you can use this week, for anger, stress, sleep and cravings.
Then the deeper work, when you're ready: EMDR for the experiences that still drive your reactions, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for the feelings and relationships underneath.
For erectile difficulties, please also see your doctor to check for physical causes. Counselling works alongside medical care.
"Are Men Lonely?" on RED FM
Hear me talk about men's loneliness and mental health with host Jasmine Kaur, in Punjabi and English. Watch on YouTube →
Common questions
About men's counselling
I'm not someone who talks about feelings. Will this work for me?
Many men start out that way. Sessions are practical and direct: we focus on what's happening, what you want to change and what actually helps. You don't need the right words to begin.
Do you offer anger management?
Yes. We work on what sets the anger off, what it's protecting, and how to respond differently, at home and at work. If counselling is a court, probation or MCFD requirement, the Restore Program is designed to meet it and provides a Letter of Participation and Certificate of Completion.
Can counselling help with erectile difficulties?
It can help when stress, anxiety, low confidence or relationship strain are part of the picture, which is common. Erectile difficulties can also have physical causes, so please see your doctor as well. Counselling works alongside medical care.
Is it confidential?
Yes. What you share stays between us. I only share information with your written consent, or in the rare cases the law requires it, such as a risk of serious harm. Online sessions mean nobody needs to see you walk into an office.
Can sessions be in Punjabi or Hindi?
Yes. Many men find it easier to talk in Punjabi or Hindi, or to mix languages. All sessions are available in English, Punjabi or Hindi, in person in Surrey or online across BC.
What if I'm having thoughts of suicide?
Please reach out now: call or text 9-8-8 any time, or call 911 in an emergency. Men often wait until things are very bad before asking for help. You don't have to.
Related
Other ways I can help
You don't have to carry it alone.
A free, confidential 30-minute call. Phone or video, evenings and Saturdays available.